Last week, while going through a storage tote in my closet, I found an old journal from 2013. On the first page, I wrote "One week out. My home fragrance line is finally happening." Three pages later, scrawled in bright red ink: "Mom fell again. I have to fly up to the Bay Area and hold off on launching the line." Then nothing else was written in my journal for three months.
A family emergency had put my business goal on hold. Looking back at the situation, I realize something. That forced stop wasn't a setback. Those three months of focusing on my Mom gave me clarity I couldn't have found while rushing toward a launch. Without realizing it, my mind was still working on the business, but in a different way. I was rethinking and refining my home fragrance product line and the launch strategy.
When Life Doesn't Follow Your Plan
There will be times when you think that you have everything mapped out. You may not know every detail, but the general direction feels clear. Then life happens. It might be a sudden health scare that changes everything or a relationship ending in a way you didn't expect.
When change shows up (and it will), you might find yourself wondering: "How do I keep moving toward my goals when life events keep slowing me down? Should I power through, pause, pivot, or take a detour?"
Your first thought may be to power through and keep going. But, I've learned (the hard way) that that's not always the best choice. There are three other types of responses: pivots, pauses, and detours.
A Pivot: When You Choose the Turn
It's been on your mind for years. An area of your life isn't working anymore, and you're ready to move toward something that is a better fit.
It could be leaving your job to freelance. It could also be more personal, like finally saying no to hosting every family holiday.
Pivots can be scary, but there's usually a voice inside saying, "This is what I'm supposed to do now".
After years of success as an actress appearing on television shows, my good friend Mary Broussard Harmon stepped away from her career to raise her four children. For over a decade, she immersed herself in being a wife, mother, home room mom, PTA president, and driving her kids to endless activities.
In her 50s with most of her children out of the house, she made a complete pivot into something she knew nothing about. She taught herself coding, web development, and how to run webinars. Her new skills allowed her to pivot from entertainment to managing alumni networks for Harvard Business School, Wharton, and other universities. 'I took to it like a fish to water,' she shared on my podcast. Now, Mary runs a thriving business, proving that pivots can lead to completely unexpected success. (You can hear Mary's full story on Episode 1 of the An Appetizing Life Podcast.)
I like to think of life pivots as something you decide to do. They're an intentional change of direction, even if they feel uncertain.
A Pause: When You Choose to Stop
Sometimes the wisest move isn't to change direction, but intentionally slow down or stop altogether. You recognize that rushing forward isn't serving you, your goals, or the people around you. You may need time to process a significant life change, or maybe you need to pause and rest.
A pause can become a strategic decision that honors where you are and allows you to move forward from there.
Another friend of mine paused her teaching career for a year after the sudden death of her husband. She knew she needed to take time off to heal and reset before she continued to guide her students through their life challenges. For a year, she worked at her sister's bakery and then returned to her teaching position. She came back with a renewed outlook and a new sense of purpose.
A pause requires strength and the confidence to stop when everyone expects you to keep going.
A Detour: When Life Chooses for You
A detour, on the other hand, usually shows up uninvited. You're cruising along your path when suddenly, a roadblock stops you in your tracks. Detours can feel disruptive and exhausting. Sometimes they feel unfair.
A client I worked with had spent five years building her boutique marketing agency. Then, when the 2020 pandemic struck, she lost 80% of her clients over three months. "I thought I'd have to close and start over at 55," she said. However, the forced slowdown made her realize she was burned out from trying to serve too wide a range of customers. She transitioned to working exclusively with women-owned businesses that focused on wellness. It was a much smaller market, but one she was passionate about. Almost losing her business showed her what she needed to change and what she wanted to build."
That's what detours can do. They slow you down and force you to pay attention. Sometimes they even show you something you couldn't have seen moving at full speed with blinders on.
All Three Are Important (Even When They Don't Feel Good)
Who doesn't love a good pivot story? They can be inspiring and empowering. But pauses and detours? They can be messier and more uncertain.
So why are all three important? Pivots can move you to make changes and create a new vision or goal. Pauses give you space to reassess and recharge before moving forward. Detours can push you to rethink and restructure your life and goals into something better.
You're Not Stalled, You're Processing
If you can't actively work on your goals right now, trust that progress is still happening, even if it's not immediately visible. Your mind continues to sort through what to keep and what to let go of. It's preparing you for when you can get back on track.
You don't need perfect clarity in these crossroad moments. You need to stay flexible and be willing to adjust course when life asks you to. Even the detours count as progress. It's all progress.
I'm curious. Are you navigating a pivot, a pause, or a detour in your life right now?
I really appreciated this framing. Seeing pivots, pauses, and detours not as failures but as different kinds of progress is such a relief. The reminder that even detours can reveal what we couldn’t see at full speed really stayed with me. Thank you for sharing these stories — they made the concept feel lived and encouraging.