Redefining Success
It’s not about checking boxes.
If you prefer listening, I've recorded a new 'An Appetizing Life' mini podcast episode inspired by this post.
When I was younger, I thought success meant checking the boxes, hitting the milestones, and always chasing the next big thing.
And for a while, that worked, until one day, it didn’t.
Years ago, I started a jewelry and home fragrance business, which grew out of my passion for creating jewelry. What began as a hobby quickly became a passion. I studied with top metalsmiths in LA and San Francisco, then decided to launch a small line.
Initially, I sold pieces to friends and local boutiques, and it was an exciting time in my life. Oh, and by the way, I was in my early 40s when all of this was happening.
As the business grew, so did my role. I designed products, handcrafted jewelry (picture me with a jewelry saw and a propane torch in hand), worked with manufacturers, coordinated with showrooms on both coasts, handled marketing, and attended major trade shows, including the New York Gift Show.
I wasn’t doing it all alone; I had two employees helping me, but it was still a lot of work. And the brand kept growing.
A few years later, after returning from a big trade show, I stood motionless in my studio, exhausted. The brand was thriving, my products were in popular stores, featured in magazines, and even worn by celebrities.
But instead of feeling accomplished, I felt drained. Disconnected.
Running the business was demanding, but it wasn’t just the workload weighing on me. In my personal life, I was juggling a lot of things. I was raising my pre-teen daughter, my mother had dementia, and I had recently gone through a divorce. Balancing it all left me exhausted, and despite the brand’s rising success, something felt off.
I’d worked so hard to get to this point. I had checked off the boxes, hit the milestones, and achieved my goal. But then I wondered why this success no longer felt good.
It was a surprising, sobering,” now what?” moment that took time to work through.
I knew then that I had to make some difficult decisions in my personal life and business. Over time, I realized that success isn’t just about what you accomplish; it's also about how you achieve it. It’s about how life feels while living it.
Success Can Evolve and So Can You
Your definition of success doesn’t have to stay the same forever. It can, and should, evolve with you.
Maybe success once meant climbing the corporate ladder, receiving awards, or reaching external milestones. But now? It could be about being more present, creating balance, and building a happier life.
It could also involve exploring new possibilities, embracing change, and finally making space for what truly fulfills you.
So, let me ask you this: Are you defining success for who you are now, or are you still pursuing an outdated version of what you once thought it should be?
If your current definition of success no longer suits you, it may be time to reconsider it.
Ways to Rethink Success
Choose Three Feelings You Want More Of
Instead of measuring success by achievements, try measuring it by how you feel.
In the past, we were often taught that success is tied to external markers, such as job titles or material objects. But what if, at this stage of life, we redefine success based on emotions?
Think about what feelings you want to experience more in your life.
Is it peace, where success feels less like a race and more like a rhythm that works for you?
Is it excitement, where success is about trying new things and taking creative risks?
Is it freedom, where success allows you to spend your time the way you want on your own terms?
If you’re in a new season of life, whether transitioning careers or exploring a creative passion, let your feelings be a part of the choices you make.
Do a ‘Success Check-In’ at the End of Each Day.
We get so caught up in being productive that we forget to check in with ourselves.
At the end of the day, take a moment and ask:
Did I experience any of the feelings that define success for me now?
If you answered yes to experiencing the feelings you desired, take a moment to appreciate it. If not, ask yourself: What’s a small change I can make tomorrow to bring those feelings into my day?
This simple check-in can help you build a version of success that actually feels right.
Celebrate Your Wins. Exactly as You Are Right Now.
Sometimes, we put off celebrating our journey, telling ourselves, 'I'll celebrate when I hit that goal… when I finish that project… when I finally feel like I've made it."
But success isn't just about what's next. It can be about acknowledging what's happening in your life right now.
Take a moment each day to recognize how far you’ve come, appreciate your progress, and notice where success feels balanced and fulfilling.
Success isn’t just about what you achieve, it’s about how life feels while living it.
If the version of success you’ve been pursuing doesn’t quite fit anymore, this might be the perfect time to redefine it in a way that reflects who you are today.
You get to decide what success looks and feels like. So, step into it by honoring your values, priorities, and what truly brings you fulfillment.
